Dif.fer.ent

I am different. Since everyone knows this to be true, I have no problem admitting it. There is not a computer in the world that could hold the list of things that make me different. I realized this thanks to my mother-in-law, who was very clear when I asked her what I was supposed to tell my children when they asked where she was, that she was “off to see the wizard”. Seriously.not.joking! It took her two weeks to come see Reilly and she spent more time with the dogs. That was the last time she saw her. She has never seen Makayla. This is not for lack of trying (or begging) on part of myself and my dear husband, you know, her son. Trust me, with how I was raised this became a huge problem for me and in my marriage. Until (and if you can believe without even any counseling) my husband and I actually decided to stop making it a big deal. My two children are loved more than any child in the world. Prior to us getting married she was all kinds of involved. I’m not sure what happened, and we probably would go in debt with a counselor on that one, but I’m done trying to figure it out. But while planning the wedding every time I would ask her opinion or show her what we were doing she would scrunch up her face and say “Ooohhh, that’s so dif.fer.ent” clearing indicating she did not like what we decided. It then became a game to see how many times we could get her to say it. I got it when my dress ended up having some red in it (ask to see a picture it was breathtaking), when I picked red velvet for the cake, the food, the decorations, etc. But then I thought – oh crap, I am different. Want to know the most neurotic thing? Probably not, but here goes. The tiniest thing can happen and I think I’m pregnant. Why you ask? Here goes. I am medically not supposed to be able to have children. That’s right. My children are total miracle babies. Don’t ask my husband about this, he will just tell you he has super swimmers. Seriously. So before getting pregnant with the first girl (totally planned by the way, just not thinking it would 1. Happen at all or 2. Happen so quickly), I never worried about being pregnant because I couldn’t right. Both of my girls are 100% planned. Came off the pill and bam two months later (each time) I was pregnant. I am completely tuned into my body like something crazy. So that is why if I’m not cramping by a certain point, start craving anything I craved with either baby, or don’t have to run to the bathroom on a certain day I am just 100% positive I’m pregnant. That is why when I started craving garlic bread this morning at 10:00 I freaked out. We have never had a true scare, I am simply dif.fer.ent! Oh, and by the way, don’t worry about my girls. They have more adopted grandmothers than most people could imagine. They have a list of people that want to be their other grandmas or aunts. People are naturally drawn to my little munchkins. Not to mention my mom, their nana who is honestly an angel right here on earth. Oh wait, you might want to worry about the fact that their mother is clearly dif.fer.ent!